My journey of faith and spirituality as a transgender, nonbinary and bisexual person within the United Methodist church is going to be the focus of this blog. Being all of these things (transgender, nonbinary and bisexual) within the United Methodist Church with the Special General Conference looming in about a month is not all it is cracked up to be sometimes. But other times it has been the most amazing and fruitful journey.
Long before I realized I was actually experiencing a gender identity crisis of sorts, I had "struggled with same-sex attraction" as my former church of ten plus years put it. Officially I struggled for two years within my church as a lesbian before I officially came out on facebook as a lesbian. When I came out as a lesbian - reception of my news was not very well received to put it very lightly and mildly. I was called into the senior pastors office where he was not the only pastor there. My associate pastor was present. Let's just say that experience forever changed my views on the pastor's office and receiving pastoral counseling in a pastor's office. I cringe each time I think about the spiritual trauma that I had to endure. I was told by both men of "God" that I couldn't possibly be gay and a Christian. I also wasn't able to raise my hands and praise God and say I love you Jesus or I love you God. The associate pastor said "When I see you, I'll try and treat you like a human being." Now mind you - this was before I realized I had a gender identity crisis. I thought my issue was just who I loved. Never in a million or trillion years did I ever expect to be told these things by men I saw as father figures.
This experience with being kicked out of my home church of over a decade was the catalyst to realizing that I was actually in the process of sorting out my gender identity. I began exploring that gender identity in July but I wouldn't come out as trans until October. During this process I started attending a church in my city that was a United Methodist Church. Before even stepping foot in that church - I messaged someone from a mission team that actually got back to me. She informed me that the pastor on staff was actually a reconciling pastor and was registered as such with Reconciling Ministries Network. The senior pastor of the church I now attend as a member has been amazing and instrumental to my journey.
This experience with being kicked out of my home church of over a decade was the catalyst to realizing that I was actually in the process of sorting out my gender identity. I began exploring that gender identity in July but I wouldn't come out as trans until October. During this process I started attending a church in my city that was a United Methodist Church. Before even stepping foot in that church - I messaged someone from a mission team that actually got back to me. She informed me that the pastor on staff was actually a reconciling pastor and was registered as such with Reconciling Ministries Network. The senior pastor of the church I now attend as a member has been amazing and instrumental to my journey.
I would struggle with my gender for the next couple of months as I emerged myself into a book about gender identity from a gender therapist. To be quite frank - I was attending a local UM church who ended up being quite accepting of me so I was actually sort of blinded to the fight the denomination was going through. I've heard stories of intense harm and suffering at the practices of the United Methodist Church particularly towards those seeking the ordination of elder or deacon. One person in particular that I've grown close to and consider a dear friend and mentor and pastor was just ordained last year as the first transgender deacon within the UMC. It was through mainly their story and other's story that I realized that the United Methodist Church still had a very long way to come in regards to its policies regarding human sexuality and gender identities.
I may not necessarily have experienced at first a life of crumbs. But as I've gotten further involved and invested more of myself into my local United Methodist Church - I realize that I'm essentially receiving the crumbs that the denomination as a whole allows to be given to me. I am blessed with a senior pastor who doesn't let me settle for the crumbs the denomination is giving me. She encourages me to continue the fight for equality within the United Methodist Church for all of God's beloved children. She doesn't give me crumbs - she encourages me serving in my local congregation.
I may not necessarily have experienced at first a life of crumbs. But as I've gotten further involved and invested more of myself into my local United Methodist Church - I realize that I'm essentially receiving the crumbs that the denomination as a whole allows to be given to me. I am blessed with a senior pastor who doesn't let me settle for the crumbs the denomination is giving me. She encourages me to continue the fight for equality within the United Methodist Church for all of God's beloved children. She doesn't give me crumbs - she encourages me serving in my local congregation.
Dearly Beloved's of God - How I wish the entire denomination known as the United Methodist Church had pastor's (elders and deacons) and laity that were like this. Unwilling to allow the denominations discriminatory practices force God's beloved folxs with bread crumbs from the Lord's table! My pastor always says on Saturday Night service before giving out the Eucharist that this is the Lord's table and not a denominational table. That you do not have to be a member of our church or even a united Methodist to partake. The only requirement is that you love God the very best that you can and that you love your neighbor as yourself.
This reminds me something that another reverend friend of mine said. They said something along the lines that just because the church wants to only give us crumbs as LGBTQ+ folxs, doesn't mean that we should stop baking loaves of fresh, delicious bread for those who are hungry. I'd like to go even further and say that we should have an ever-flowing cup of juice for those who are so parched because the world has sucked everything out of them.
When we come to the Lord's Table - whether it be weekly or the first and special occasion Sundays- as LGBTQ+ United Methodist, we are seeking desired food and drink for the journey. Not just the journey outside the four walls of the church/denomination, but within the four walls too sometimes. Sometimes we are unable to find a place to rest our weary heads once or twice a week and get this desired food and drink for our journey. Some of our beloved siblings are apart of a congregation that doesn't extend this to them or if they do - that is all the ministry they get from the church. THEY GET CRUMBS!
Dear Beloveds - We as LGBTQ+ folxs within the United Methodist Church are tired of the crumbs that our beloved denomination is giving us. We desire and proclaim that the Good News of Jesus Christ our Savior is that of full and loud inclusion of ALL of God's Beloved Children regardless of wherever they stand in the LGBTQ+ spectrum. We need to end the denomination's discrimination practices especially in the areas of those seeking ordination, seeking to have a church marriage and those wanting to fully and unhinderedly serve within the denomination.
How can we do this? It is extremely important that we realize that God has uniquely and purposefully crafted each and every single person on this earth. Transgender persons have existed from the beginning of time. It just so happens that my generation and those around my generation have put a name to what has been going on in society. Dare I even say that there are gender-nonconforming people in Jesus' time that are recorded in the bible? Oh yes and did Christ our Lord and Savior treat them any differently? No. In fact Jesus directed the disciples to go and search for the man at the well in order to have their supper. It was against gender roles and expectations for a man to be at the well because it was actually a woman's duty to draw water. Yet Jesus directed the disciples to this man for the most holy, sacred, divine of meals!
We all need to take a closer look at to what Jesus would be doing in regards to how to handle this issue. Jesus Christ came to settle the law and bring about a new covenant, a covenant that is filled with grace, love and mercy. A covenant that included both Jew and Gentile, foreigner and resident, white and people of color, gender conforming indivuals and transgender people! He came to proclaim that the covenant of law was no longer valid and that the only covenant that matters is the covenant of the gospel of grace, mercy and most of all love.
We need to stop accepting the crumbs that the United Methodist Church wishes to give us. NO MORE CRUMBS MY DEAR BELOVED TRANS PERSON! NO MORE CRUMBS MY DEAR BELOVED GAY AND LESBIAN PEOPLE! NO MORE CRUMBS MY DEAR BELOVED BISEXUAL FRIENDS! NO MORE CRUMBS MY DEAR BELOVED QUESTIONING/QUEER FRIENDS! NO MORE CRUMBS MY DEAR BELOVED LGBTQ+ SIBLINGS! NO MORE CRUMBS.
Let us teach the United Methodist Church as a whole how to bake fresh daily loaves of warm, hearty bread and fill the Eucharist cup with love and grace and mercy! Let us be willing to bake that warm bread for the journey and fill that cup with the love, grace, and mercy of Jesus until our denomination is willing to do for us! Church - let us rise up to the claims of #NoMoreCrumbs even if it us being the ones to fulfill that need. Sometimes we need to rise up as the next generation of leaders for a denomination that so desperately needs our help.
Some practical steps that you can start to bake that bread and fill that cup -
Read and engage in theological and loving conversations that place LGBTQ+ folxs as the ones leading that conversation. A good resource is the folxs over at enfleshed are doing amazing work - the amazing Rev's M Barclay and Anna Bladel are wonderful people who do very holy, sacred and deep work with and for LGBTQ+ folxs!
This reminds me something that another reverend friend of mine said. They said something along the lines that just because the church wants to only give us crumbs as LGBTQ+ folxs, doesn't mean that we should stop baking loaves of fresh, delicious bread for those who are hungry. I'd like to go even further and say that we should have an ever-flowing cup of juice for those who are so parched because the world has sucked everything out of them.
When we come to the Lord's Table - whether it be weekly or the first and special occasion Sundays- as LGBTQ+ United Methodist, we are seeking desired food and drink for the journey. Not just the journey outside the four walls of the church/denomination, but within the four walls too sometimes. Sometimes we are unable to find a place to rest our weary heads once or twice a week and get this desired food and drink for our journey. Some of our beloved siblings are apart of a congregation that doesn't extend this to them or if they do - that is all the ministry they get from the church. THEY GET CRUMBS!
Dear Beloveds - We as LGBTQ+ folxs within the United Methodist Church are tired of the crumbs that our beloved denomination is giving us. We desire and proclaim that the Good News of Jesus Christ our Savior is that of full and loud inclusion of ALL of God's Beloved Children regardless of wherever they stand in the LGBTQ+ spectrum. We need to end the denomination's discrimination practices especially in the areas of those seeking ordination, seeking to have a church marriage and those wanting to fully and unhinderedly serve within the denomination.
How can we do this? It is extremely important that we realize that God has uniquely and purposefully crafted each and every single person on this earth. Transgender persons have existed from the beginning of time. It just so happens that my generation and those around my generation have put a name to what has been going on in society. Dare I even say that there are gender-nonconforming people in Jesus' time that are recorded in the bible? Oh yes and did Christ our Lord and Savior treat them any differently? No. In fact Jesus directed the disciples to go and search for the man at the well in order to have their supper. It was against gender roles and expectations for a man to be at the well because it was actually a woman's duty to draw water. Yet Jesus directed the disciples to this man for the most holy, sacred, divine of meals!
We all need to take a closer look at to what Jesus would be doing in regards to how to handle this issue. Jesus Christ came to settle the law and bring about a new covenant, a covenant that is filled with grace, love and mercy. A covenant that included both Jew and Gentile, foreigner and resident, white and people of color, gender conforming indivuals and transgender people! He came to proclaim that the covenant of law was no longer valid and that the only covenant that matters is the covenant of the gospel of grace, mercy and most of all love.
We need to stop accepting the crumbs that the United Methodist Church wishes to give us. NO MORE CRUMBS MY DEAR BELOVED TRANS PERSON! NO MORE CRUMBS MY DEAR BELOVED GAY AND LESBIAN PEOPLE! NO MORE CRUMBS MY DEAR BELOVED BISEXUAL FRIENDS! NO MORE CRUMBS MY DEAR BELOVED QUESTIONING/QUEER FRIENDS! NO MORE CRUMBS MY DEAR BELOVED LGBTQ+ SIBLINGS! NO MORE CRUMBS.
Let us teach the United Methodist Church as a whole how to bake fresh daily loaves of warm, hearty bread and fill the Eucharist cup with love and grace and mercy! Let us be willing to bake that warm bread for the journey and fill that cup with the love, grace, and mercy of Jesus until our denomination is willing to do for us! Church - let us rise up to the claims of #NoMoreCrumbs even if it us being the ones to fulfill that need. Sometimes we need to rise up as the next generation of leaders for a denomination that so desperately needs our help.
Some practical steps that you can start to bake that bread and fill that cup -
Read and engage in theological and loving conversations that place LGBTQ+ folxs as the ones leading that conversation. A good resource is the folxs over at enfleshed are doing amazing work - the amazing Rev's M Barclay and Anna Bladel are wonderful people who do very holy, sacred and deep work with and for LGBTQ+ folxs!
Read books written by folxs who are apart of the community. A big one I suggest is Queer Theology by Rev Liz Edman. Another good one is Transforming by Austen Hartke.
Obtain the Queer Bible Commentary. It's a very useful resource to begin looking at the bible through a queer lense. :)
No More Crumbs for LGBTQAI+ United Methodist Folxs!
Brian Lee Kleber
