Update on me and my transition

Sorry folks that it has been a while since I’ve written about my own transition and in this blog. Life has gotten away from me and I’ve been dealing with a multitude of things all at once.

So I have recently decided that I am going to stop going to Persad in Pittsburgh for gender therapy and find just a regular therapist. This also means that my top surgery is going to be put on hold as well. Recently I relapsed on prescribes medication and I feel like it will be a good idea to wait until I have at least two years clean before I even begin to think about a major surgery like top surgery. But there is another piece to not wanting top surgery right now - I am beginning to be more comfortable with the body I have right now, exactly the way it is. Do I love my chest? Will I stop binding when wearing button down shirts? NOPE! It just means that top surgery isn’t in my cards right now.

I’ve told several people in my life about the decision to quit gender therapy and this by doing so put the ability to get top surgery on hold. The overwhelming and unanimous support has been truly outstanding and such a blessing. I’m comfortable with myself and those around me in my chosen family tribe support me and it has been inspirational  to me.

I have people who love, accept and are friends with me for me and not what my body does or doesn’t look like. I’m going to take this time to concentrate on school, recovery, and recovering from a recent sexual assault. I need time to heal physically because going to Pittsburgh is a huge ordeal since I don’t have my own car. I depend on medical transportation which means up to three hours on a bus to Pittsburgh early in the morning, sitting at Persad all day, and then upwards of three sometimes four hours back. My back cannot handle the stress of sitting for that long without laying down at some point in the day. So my chiropractor visits are wracking up and I cannot afford that on a fixed income.

This doesn’t mean at all for one second I’m detransitioning. I’m still staying on my hormones and will take them as prescribed. This is just part of my journey as a transgender nonbinary person.

Thank you for letting me share with you all where I am at in my journey and thanks for reading.

Brian Lee