My First Ash Wednesday Service Reflections
"Brian, remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return." My pastor uttered those words as she made the mark of a cross on my forehead.
This was my first dispensation of ashes period, let alone as a United Methodist. So the service itself was a first time experience for me. You see I come from an extreme fundamentalist Pentecostal background. We didn't celebrate the Lenten season or ash Wednesday at all. So this was a whole new experience. But I am ever so grateful for it. The atmosphere was quiet, somber but spiritually uplifting at the same time. I had spent the day preparing myself for the evening service. My friend M, who happens to be ordained in the UMC, did a meditation video that I listened to. Plus the RMN Network released a blog about Ash Wednesday that I read. It provided a unique aspect in which framed my perspective to view the service.
In the article, Brett wrote some amazing things that really touched my soul. It made me think. To me - Ash Wednesday was about who God was. About the fact we are blessed to even just BE. God wants to be in a relationship with me. God sought me out before I could ever seek Him out. He continued to seek me out even when my old church kicked me out and attempted to strip me of my Christianity which honestly was never their mantle to take from me to begin with. God has loved me, shaped me from the ash of the earth, and given me life with his very breath.
In a video, my friend and Rev M Barclay said some thought provoking things. There is no life that doesn't come from other life. We are never only our own. Everything that is was once dust. We betray our own beginnings. We were not made to be products of uniformity, not to fit a mold. We were made to be apart of the sacred work. From dust we were made, and to dust we will return. Are we addressing the systems that are limiting other people's lives? We all have but one life to live. We do well when we can embrace our limitations. It is precious to be alive. We have limited time together and we are not always going to use that time wisely. Our time together is limited and it is precious.
Both the article and the video set a tone for me. The article addressed the queer side of things and the video just addressed our pure mortality. It was fitting that both of these issues where addressed for me. So now I must explain the actual service. It was wonderful. I remember during much of the music closing my eyes and maintaining an attitude of worship. There already was such a gentle spirit there. I didn't want to mess with it, ya know?
It came time for the dispensation of ashes. I got in my senior pastor's line. It came my turn and as my pastor spoke those words, I closed my eyes. It was like a calm feeling came over me. I did decide to kneel at the altar afterwards for a moment. Then I went back to my seat. When I went back to my seat, an amazing thing happened to me... I began to smell a sweet fragrance all around me that I hadn't smelled up until that point. It was like it enveloped me. It felt like the arms of Jesus were around me as I sat reflecting on what had just happened for me in my first Ash Wednesday Service and the start of my first Lenten Season.
I am blessed to be on this journey and to be able to include all of you in it. I hope this was inspiring and uplifting to you. May you be cradled in the arms of our beloved as you walk through this Lenten season and realize your life is precious to the Divine!
Peace of Christ,
Brian
This was my first dispensation of ashes period, let alone as a United Methodist. So the service itself was a first time experience for me. You see I come from an extreme fundamentalist Pentecostal background. We didn't celebrate the Lenten season or ash Wednesday at all. So this was a whole new experience. But I am ever so grateful for it. The atmosphere was quiet, somber but spiritually uplifting at the same time. I had spent the day preparing myself for the evening service. My friend M, who happens to be ordained in the UMC, did a meditation video that I listened to. Plus the RMN Network released a blog about Ash Wednesday that I read. It provided a unique aspect in which framed my perspective to view the service.
In the article, Brett wrote some amazing things that really touched my soul. It made me think. To me - Ash Wednesday was about who God was. About the fact we are blessed to even just BE. God wants to be in a relationship with me. God sought me out before I could ever seek Him out. He continued to seek me out even when my old church kicked me out and attempted to strip me of my Christianity which honestly was never their mantle to take from me to begin with. God has loved me, shaped me from the ash of the earth, and given me life with his very breath.
In a video, my friend and Rev M Barclay said some thought provoking things. There is no life that doesn't come from other life. We are never only our own. Everything that is was once dust. We betray our own beginnings. We were not made to be products of uniformity, not to fit a mold. We were made to be apart of the sacred work. From dust we were made, and to dust we will return. Are we addressing the systems that are limiting other people's lives? We all have but one life to live. We do well when we can embrace our limitations. It is precious to be alive. We have limited time together and we are not always going to use that time wisely. Our time together is limited and it is precious.
Both the article and the video set a tone for me. The article addressed the queer side of things and the video just addressed our pure mortality. It was fitting that both of these issues where addressed for me. So now I must explain the actual service. It was wonderful. I remember during much of the music closing my eyes and maintaining an attitude of worship. There already was such a gentle spirit there. I didn't want to mess with it, ya know?
It came time for the dispensation of ashes. I got in my senior pastor's line. It came my turn and as my pastor spoke those words, I closed my eyes. It was like a calm feeling came over me. I did decide to kneel at the altar afterwards for a moment. Then I went back to my seat. When I went back to my seat, an amazing thing happened to me... I began to smell a sweet fragrance all around me that I hadn't smelled up until that point. It was like it enveloped me. It felt like the arms of Jesus were around me as I sat reflecting on what had just happened for me in my first Ash Wednesday Service and the start of my first Lenten Season.
I am blessed to be on this journey and to be able to include all of you in it. I hope this was inspiring and uplifting to you. May you be cradled in the arms of our beloved as you walk through this Lenten season and realize your life is precious to the Divine!
Peace of Christ,
Brian
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