Saturday, March 31, 2018

Week 3 Update, Holy Week and Transgender International Day of Visibility

This blog post will be filled with a lot of stuff because it is a busy week. It marks a lot of stuff.... Week 3 on hormone replacement therapy, Holy Week and Transgender International Day of Visibility. All very important to me.

First subject to update you on....

Week Three on HRT.... Nothing much has changed. I have noticed that my facial hair has started to grow in darker. I literally looked in the mirror and saw that my mustache hairs were darker and I had to do a double take. Then I was out to eat with my sponsor and another member of NA and I asked where the restrooms were and the guy told me the male restroom was in use. Friends - that made me feel sooo damn good! My libido has also increased. My appetite is still increased and I seem to crave protein and fruit... My craving for sweets has gone down drastically. I am wanting protein based snacks (peanut butter from the jar, nuts and jerky). The protein I eat is red meat, chicken and fish. I really enjoy fresh fruit mostly now. My mood is what has really surprised me the most... I was expecting rage because that is what my pcp who is my HRT prescriber prepared me for. But I have found that while emotions hit me more quickly, I am more mellow. I do have a lower tolerance for bullshit and I am learning to center myself more. I am engaging myself in self care and being good to myself. I am getting into my art of crocheting and writing poetry. I watch tv. I listen to my body when it needs rest or when my spirit needs fed.

Second subject to update you on...

Holy Week.... This is my first time observing Holy Week. I missed Maundy Thursday because I helped to take in a meeting to a rehab facility with my sponsor and another member of the fellowship I belong to. But my spirit needed that. It was an amazing experience. One that I personally think that Jesus would've been proud of me doing because it was an act of selfless service. These people couldn't give me anything and it was wonderful to give back to this part of the fellowship.

I was able to attend Good Friday service at my local UMC church of which I am a member. It was different and unlike any other Good Friday service. Black adorned the crosses. The choir wore black robes as did our two pastors. It was somber atmosphere and one of sadness. I did enjoy it. As scriptures where read that lead to Jesus' last breathe's, certain lights were turned off after the candle was blown out. Until we were in complete darkness and we stayed in darkness for a few minutes. To mimick the darkness that fell upon the earth when Jesus died. It was an extremely powerful service for this new United Methodist that is for certain. I am so grateful for the powerful show of love Jesus did when he died on the cross.

Third subject to update you on...

Transgender International Day of Visibility.... Today is my first one. It is so important for the world to realize that there are a lot of transgender people around them. For all of those who chose to be visible today there are a TON more who chose not to be visible for many other reasons (they haven't yet discovered who they are, safety issues, etc). We are visible for those who cannot be visible. We, trans people, give a face to those who cannot lend their faces to the world. We are humans deserving of love and acceptance and basic human rights. We are God's beloved. God loves us transgender people just as much as cis-gender, heterosexual people. We are ALL GOD's BELOVED.

Know that you are loved and accepted!

Brian Lee

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